Some of the most creative thinking in the workplace comes from the desire to avoid saying what we really mean. Check out these innovative (and humorous) euphemisms for typical workplace antics:
- Blamestorm: A discussion centered around finding an excuse—or a scapegoat—for failure.
- Data transport system. A briefcase.
- Ohnosecond. The fraction of a moment between hitting “send” and realizing you’ve just sent an embarrassing e-mail to everyone in your organization.
- Percussive maintenance. Hitting a computer or other electronic device in an attempt to get it to work.
- Presenteeism. The opposite of absenteeism—an obsession with being visible at work regardless of how productive you are.
- Run it up the flagpole. Hoping someone with real authority will give you permission to do something if you ask politely.
- Stress puppy. Someone who thrives on pressure.
- Vulcan nerve pinch. The awkward hand stretch needed to reach all the keys necessary for certain computer commands.
- Xerox subsidy. Using the office photocopier for personal reasons.
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